I think I just saw the most depressing movie ever. The movie is called That Evening Sun. If you are in need of a tear jerk-er? This is the movie for you. With out going into details, I had this movie on my queue on Netflix because I read the synopsis and thought it sounded like a pretty good movie. Well, that and the fact that Hal Holbrook is in it. I thought is was going to have a certain ending, which I had contrived on my own, but it turned out to end very differently that I had thought.
I'm only 44 years old. But, this movie got me thinking. Where, if I live to be an old man, am I going to be? Who is going to take care of me when I get old? I have no wife. I have no children. I don't even, at this point have any close friends. I fear the future right now. And, after watching the damn movie, I fear it even more. Well, I just have to make the best out of the time I have left. Be it one day, one week, one month etc.
I have always said, "I will plan my own demise." And, I mean that. I can not see myself in a nursing home being treated like a child. Me? Martin Deanda being fed through a G-tube? NO! Me? Martin Deanda being fed Pureed food? NO! Not going to happen. If the good Lord lets me live into my winter years, I will be very thankful. However, I will not place myself in the hands of uncaring people. I will not allow myself to whither away un-cared for.
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Without a doubt, The Exorcist is the most frightening movie I have ever seen in my entire life. From the first time I saw this movie my definition of fear changed. Probably for ever. Before The Exorcist, fear meant Bigfoot, the creature from the black lagoon and the silver man. After the Exorcist, Possessed Reagan, became the face of fear. When I was alone at night and all the lights were turned off, wondering what might be under the bed used to include a number of ghouls. Now, I knew exactly what was under the bed. Reagan! When the closet door was slightly ajar and only blackness was beyond, I knew what was waiting to jump out at me, Reagan! To be quite honest, I couldn't sleep alone for weeks after I saw that movie. I tried, but I couldn't do it. And, when I did start sleeping alone again, with the insistence of my mother, I left one or two lights on. As time went by it became easier to sleep with one eye open, so to speak. But, the thought of Reagan floating towards me in the middle of the night with that horrendous face and that demonic tongue wagging was well ensconced in my brain.
To this day The Exorcist remains one of my favorite movies. It's number 4 on my all time favorite movies. How can a movie that scares me so much be my number 4 all time favorite movie you ask? Well, I think in part it is because of that. It had a profound effect on my life. It remains the face of fear for me even now.
Why does the Exorcist scare me so much? I think it has to do with the fact that the subject matter deals with spirituality. The good versus evil. But more so, the vulnerability of us all to either witness or to be possessed by a foreign force. Psychosis? Maybe in many or most of the time that is the answer. However, as I believe in God and saints, I also believe that there lurks evil.
That's scary.
This will be the 5th day with my IPad. So far I can say that I'm very happy with this product. That's putting it mildly. The IPad is every bit as impressive as Apple inthusiests made it out to be. First impressions: it feels so well built. When I pick the device up and hold it in my hand, it feels like, and looks like a work of art. Solid and eligent. The operating system works flawlessly. Finger gesture response is great and the speed of the IPad is very good and snappy. As far as the much touted retina display, it is simply beautiful. Text is crisp and smooth, even at the maximum magnification.
Bottom line. The IPad is with out a doubt the best tablet on the market. I think back to something that a well respected tech columnest by the name of Andy Ihnatko said some time ago. I will paraphrase, the IPad isn't the only tablet out there. Other devices do what the IPad does but the IPad does it better. Having used this tablet, all be it for a bit less that 5 days, I have to agree. As time goes by and the more I will continue to lean on this product, the durability and dependability will be tested. As for now, this is the most fun I have ever had using a computing device. If you are in the market for a tablet computer, try other products, then try the IPad. It is my contention that you will come to the same conclusion I did. Winner? Ipad.
On this Mother's Day, I was pleased to have dinner with my mother. Or, what I consider my last source of unconditional love left on Earth. We had a great time talking and reminiscing about times in the past. Many of our remembrances featured my dad who has been dead for almost 5 years. Still to this day my dad makes us laugh and we enjoy thinking of him. My mother had the chicken fried steak and I had the catfish. We topped off our dinner with a banana split. Love you mom, looking forward to next year.
In February, I pulled the trigger on a new guitar. My very first one. As I said on the video I made
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayUAdggtHXA&feature=plcp I was, and still am, very intimidated by this instrument. For a very long time I had longed to learn to play the guitar but I never seemed to make it a big priority. I have always marveled at how guitar players strummed and played their guitar so seemingly effortlessly.
Now that it's been a few weeks removed from picking up my guitar for the first time, I seem to have become a bit more comfortable with it. Just a bit. I've managed to learn the basic Major chords plus a few others. Enough actually to be able to play a few songs, although not very well. Just need more practice. Practice, that's been a problem in an of itself. There are some days that I don't get to practice at all. And, that pisses me off. However, I'm trying to get the most out of the time I do get to practice. In time I intend to contribute to the endless Youtube cacophony of people playing their guitar.
I'm not certain, but I think it's been 15 years since I've been across the boarder to Nuevo Laredo. I can still remember the first time I walked across the bridge exited and full of wonder at the anticipation of entering another country. I was a 15 year old high school kid always looking for adventure and instantly fell in love with the city. The particular bridge I crossed lead to the main street of the centro (the center of the city). The first thing that jumped out at me was all the action going on. There were vendors galore and people walking up and down the streets carousing, talking and having a great time. If you wanted something to eat or drink, you would only have to stop and ask the nearest food vendor. If you wanted to buy a pair of shoes, you needn't go very far. There were shoes stores, on what seemed to me, on every corner. And, of course there was the music. Some of it was musica nortenea, mariachi and some Spanish pop. The atmosphere was electric and it brushed off on me to my delight.
After that first trip to NL, I couldn't wait to go back. My theater director (which also was the most influential teacher to that point) planned regular trips to the boarder city and I was always right there, ready to go. It was this point in my life where I learned that it was OK to travel ninety something miles to go have dinner. I thank you so much Mr. Howell. The allure of Nuevo Laredo never subsided. Every single time I went back, I was just as exited as the first time I was there.
After high school I continued to go to Nuevo Laredo. The most wonderful times I had there was when I introduced my wife to it. And yes, I did convince her that driving ninety something miles for dinner was OK. She loved the city as I did and it was so great watching her absorb Nuevo Laredo just as I had done that first time. Our favorite place to eat was a quaint little restaurant called Mexico Tipico. We did eat at other places, but that seemed to be our place of choice most of the time. We bought countless amounts of fruit and other items during the times we were there. It was especially nice bringing back Tequila and rum. We would also take orders from our family as well. We took back Leche Cemada, Dulce de Calavasa and many other things. The times we had there were very special indeed. The only regret is that I failed to take very many pictures of our times there. But, I have my memory. That will have to surfice.
The times have changed for the worse. There is a dark and ugly cloud hanging over Nuevo Laredo these days. There is violence, fear and violence. This makes me very sad. It makes me sad, not only because I'm frighten to return there, that would be selfish. I feel sadness for the people of Nuevo Laredo. I don't live there, they do. However, I do feel robbed. No longer can I go and enjoy a beer at the market and listen to great music. No longer can I speak with the people of Nuevo Laredo and listen to them tell me about there lives and vice versa. No longer can I go enjoy a good dinner at Mexico Tipico and enjoy the ambiance. It's sad and tragic.
I can only hope that one day before my time is up, I can once again see Nuevo Laredo the way I remember it. For now, only the memories of those great times will have to fill the void. Nuevo Laredo, how I miss you. Nuevo Laredo, vuelve un dia. Viva Nuevo Laredo!
I did a photo and video shoot of the building which used to be P&S Hospital in Alice, Texas. I have known for a time that there is currently no historical material online of this formally thriving medical hub. You will, however, find plenty of paranormal excursions into the structure that yield little or no ghostly interaction.
I've yet to finish my piece on the hospital. I'm spending time researching the history of the edifice so that I can put together a short but informative presentation which will, hopefully be of some educational use to anyone seeking enlightenment of this significant and historical healthcare epicenter.
These pictures were taken on Saturday February 18, 2012.
