Here I sit just about a week after hearing about the death of one of my favorite athletes of all time. Being a Lakers fan since 1979, this horrible news hit me a bit harder. I heard about Kobe Bryant's death after I woke up and was getting ready for work. I turned on my TV just like I do everyday to get caught up on the news and so forth and I cast my eyes on the jumbo tron at the NFL pro bowl. No one was talking at the time, and what I saw was Kobe Bryant's picture and 2 years below that. His birth year and the year 2020. At that moment my heart sank. I knew that was not good. Of course my first thought was it was a mistake. No way, what ever happened just can't be. One of the first things I thought was, car wreck. Then the commentators began to talk. Or, tried to talk. I felt so bad for them because they were trying so hard to hold it together. I began to cry at that moment. While watching them I read the ticker and began absorbing the reality of what had happen.
I went through my routine of coping. First, there is crying and disbelief. Then, I shut (or try to) shut all news of what happened. Every time I came across anything to do with #KobeBryant on my social media feeds, I just swiped past it. When a news channel aired any update about Kobe, I'd change the channel. In some ways I'm still in this mode right now. Inevitably, while I'm having fun watching a movie or something comical, the though that Kobe is gone hit's me in the face and I have to pause for a moment and face reality and relive the pain.
I am so very sad at this point of my life. I still can't fully except that I will never see Kobe alive again. And that makes me sick, it makes me so sad, it makes me angry and it makes me feel hopeless and helpless.
To my #lakersnation , I feel your pain and sadness. We are going to have a hole in our hearts for a very, very long time.
I miss you Kobe and we will never forget you.
#GoLakers
