I Miss My Old Friends / School Mates

I've always been what most people call, irresponsible. When I was in grade school and all the way through high school, I always did badly in school, as far as grades were concerned. I was not a discipline problem and was considered a "good kid." My view of life was, I think skewed by the fact that I watched a lot of TV. I didn't have a father for much of my childhood and my mother and aunt really didn't have too much influence on me in terms of outlook on life. I loved imitated characters on TV and looked up to TV personalities. I didn't have very many good friends, just a few good ones. And, that was OK with me.

To this day, I'm the type of person that does not like to "hang out." When I was young I loved having friends over to the house, but after a while I wanted to get rid of them. Sounds terrible, but it's the truth. I just liked being by myself most of the time. I loved the stupid things and the stupid conversations we used to have as kids. It was a great time to be in my room with my friends listening to Rush, Van Helen etc., etc., and acting dumb. I miss going out to the basketball court and spending hours and hours joking around with my friends and playing ball. It was great.

The present.
Now, when I run across some of those friends, I hate it. Everyone is so serious. They are all so "grown up." I suppose that is a bit immature of me. Wishing that people stayed the same. Wishing people stayed young. Nevertheless, I feel somewhat sad when I see my old friends. I'm glad to see them and to hear they're doing well. But, it's just not the same for me. 

I miss my friends. But I miss my friends the way they used to be. Is that silly and immature? Is that living in fantasy land? Ya, I guess the "normal" people would say so. But, that's me and I guess I'll never change. 

Thank God.